It is difficult to choose between self-respect and happiness at first but when the ideas are broken down we can see that self-respect is pursued in order to gain self satisfaction as well as the approval of others. When one respects themselves they are able to feel empowerment. Although this can be empowering, some people may take it too far by becoming prideful and not allowing others to get close to them. Self respect is an aspect of striving for happiness. Happiness entails much more understanding because when acting upon impulse in the pursuit of happiness it is frowned upon yet people are drawn to those who have made the choice to be happy above all. To find happiness means that there is room to accept one’s flaws therefore being open to being wrong and making mistakes is part of the journey of happiness. Although self respect is an aspect of happiness, on the other hand, events in which are not allowing an individual to respect themselves may be necessary in order for them to gain happiness. There should be space for an individual to put aside their pride and be able to become vulnerable in order to open themselves to another person. In successfully opening one’s self and letting go of self-respect at times when it is right can lead to happiness. If happiness is found, self-respect is secondary for the person already feels good about themselves and their life. Self respect is still needed in order to check with ourselves to make sure that the decisions that we are making are healthy for us and are the best for the current situation. If one lives by the principles of only respecting themselves, there is little room left for redemption whether it may be the respectable individual or someone that the individual encounters to challenge their level of self respect. If some who is concerned about only respecting themselves, there may be missed instances where risk was need to be taken in the pursuit of happiness. The idea that an individual is making choices to gain happiness is broader in its meaning due to the many aspects that entail being happy. It seems that self respect is about doing what is best for the self even at times when it is not the most desirable choice. Pursuing happiness allows individuals to do what makes them happy and still agrees to leave room for making mistakes in pursuing happiness. It is what is learned from these experiences that enable a person to value what makes them happy. This would be overlooked if there were no experiences to differentiate between the difference of unhappiness and happiness. Self respect only has one aspect in mind which can lead to unhappiness if forgiveness is the cost to achieving self respect. Without forgiveness, the respected individual is not on a state of happiness for they are not able to forgive others; therefore resentment is built up, not happiness. Although self respect is necessary at times, happiness is much more significant in a person’s life for it will serve them well as the spirit is uplifted when experiencing joy and happiness not just self respect.
The lack of self-respect has led to a great deal of unhappiness in my life. When we don’t respect ourselves and place healthy boundaries around ourselves we leave an opening for others to bully and abuse us. I learned this lesson early in my adult life when I was involved with an abusive relationship. I went to an abused women’s shelter where there was a discussion group with women like myself. In every case the women did not stand up for themselves. Sometimes it’s just too dangerous, sometimes we lack the courage, but what draws abusers to women like us is our lack of self-respect.
ReplyDeleteI can still remember the first time I really had the courage to stand up for myself. I had no car and had to ride the bus to college. There was one really nasty bus driver who would make anyone he perceived as weak leave out of the back door. He would wait until an elderly person walked all the way to the front of the bus and then tell them they had to go back and exit from the back door. One day I just had enough of his nonsense and chewed his butt in front of all the other passengers. He never asked me to exit from the back door from that point on. I think I scared him a bit. Self-respect takes courage, and courage comes with practice. Some people may misinterpret my self-respect as pride, but one of the nice things about self-respect is that you don’t really have to care much about how other people like it. If they think I’m self-centered or proud that’s their problem. Self-respect makes me happy.